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[21 Aug 2009|07:43pm]


Im sorry youre this aloof, indifferent asshole sometimes.
Im sorry you  couldnt appreciate my poem and my email.
Im sorry you make me feel lonlier than ever.
Im sorry you cant open up.
Im sorry that for the last year I have been here for you whenever you needed me
and you cant do the same.
Im sorry you hurt my feelings tonight
and im planning not to speak to you again.

Im sorry im depressed and lonely and tired.
Im sorry I call you three times a day and text you.
Im sorry youre so bothered by me.

lets see how the world is without you in it,
1 realize| I'm not perfect

[23 Apr 2009|08:57pm]


Im sorry theres times where I cant stand you.
Im sorry that sometimes when i say 'i love you' i only want to mean it
Im sorry you still dont trust me
Im sorry youre verbally abusive

I'm not perfect

i'm sorry. i wish i could just say that to you... [16 Nov 2008|01:26pm]


i am so sorry...i want to fix this. you have no idea the lengths t which i would go, to earn your forgiveness. i'd let you to take me "back there", however you saw fit.and it would be a release. a perfect apology. if you had to check me every singe day, i would be your best parolee. just touch my wris and you'd protect it from harm. i really wish you would bring me back there. i'd feel so much less guilty and that much more forgiven. 'cause i'm unbelievably sorry. i just want you to hold me tight and tell me i'm still your best girl. 'cause you're everything upon everything to me. it hurts to look at your pictures because it's been so long since we've talked. i hope you still actually love me, because that would be nice right about now when everything is falling apart. everything is falling apart. i wonder if i had told you that, instead of you having to drag it out of me...maybe we'd still be close. i just never wanted to hurt you, ever.
* * * *

(i won't write the rest, because it was part of a letter i really shouldn't write...)
and for the record, i've gone 15 months free of the addiction.sorry, free of *acting* on it.




I'm not perfect

[24 Mar 2008|08:38pm]

[ mood | envious ]

I'm sorry I don't understand you.
I'm sorry that I can't seem to breathe.
I'm sorry for being so horrible.
I'm sorry for not being your Baby Girl.
I'm sorry I;m not as beautiful as you say.
I'm sorry I find lies better than truth.
I'm sorry I hated my last statement.
I'm sorry I can't cope.
I'm sorry I'm not living up to who I really am.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough for my own taste.
I'm sorry I have an insecurity in everything little thing.
I'm sorry I complain to you, love.
I'm sorry I'm just another cliche.
I'm sorry I had to write this.

1 realize| I'm not perfect

[20 Feb 2008|10:00pm]

 Im sorry I dont think Im worth all of this.
Im sorry Im constantly scared youre going to leave me because family is going to be worth more than your 5-month-im-so-in-love-with-you-this-means-forever-i-swear relationship
Im sorry I cry too much because my heart aches
Im sorry you kissed him and it secretly hasnt left my mind
Im sorry you kissed him twice
Im sorry I do everything you ask of me but you dont do the same
Im sorry Im so easily controlled.
Im sorry youre seeming controlling.

Im sorry Im still as in love with you as my last post (below this one) shows.
Im sorry I dont make any mistakes as serious as those you already have.
Im sorry I think youre going to leave me for a guy.
Im sorry I think you really arent a lesbian sometimes.
Im sorry Im insecure and uncomfortable with my body sometimes.
Im sorry I make no sense.

Im sorry Im terrified.
I'm not perfect

[25 Oct 2007|10:13pm]

Im sorry I  didnt tell you about this whole thing sooner in the day,
before we kissed, before you got scared.
Im sorry you cant tell me how weirded out you actually are.
Im sorry Im falling in love with you so much sooner than I planned.
Im sorry sometimes I can be actually too intense.
Im sorry youre everything I could ever want and Ive only ever felt jealous with you.
Im sorry for wanting you every second and every day.
Im sorry for sometimes not looking as well kept as you seem to always be.

Im sorry,
Im sorry,
for everything other relationship before you and how they ruined my heart.
Im ready, really,
im sorry.
1 realize| I'm not perfect

[14 Oct 2007|04:13am]

[ mood | crushed ]

I'm sorry I can't be the wife you deserve.
I'm sorry I can't quit lying.
I'm sorry that place, that desert, ruined you. 
I'm sorry that you had to do what you had to do to survive.
I'm sorry you had to see all that.
I'm sorry for that girl, and what she did. 
I'm sorry for what you put her through.

I'm sorry for the way we treat Nicole. 
I'm sorry I can't say any of this to your face.

I'm sorry I can't keep the house clean.
I'm sorry I don't try harder.
I'm sorry that I'm so resentful.
I'm sorry that your dad died. 
I'm sorry that you don't have any friends.

I'm sorry that I'm so needy.
I'm sorry that I need you so much.

I'm sorry that our marriage is falling apart.
I'm sorry that we've only been married for 4 months and I'm already ruining it.

I'm sorry that I can't love you better.

I love you. I really do. But most of all I'm sorry.

I'm not perfect

[08 Oct 2007|03:09pm]

[ mood | sad ]

im sorry i hurt you that bad,
im sorry you wont let me in again,
i understand,
im sorry i dont belong
im sorry you wont give me your heart
im sorry i broke it
im sorry i lost hope
im sorry i fell apart
im sorry you werent there
im sorry you wont let me be there for you
im sorry you will never understand how much ive cried

I'm not perfect

im sorry. [22 Sep 2007|08:39am]

 im sorry i never got to say good bye
im sorry that you had to die

im sorry i didnt try harder to save you
im sorry i didnt know you felt so blue

im sorry you couldnt talk to me
im sorry i couldnt get through this easily

im sorry i that i miss you so much
im sorry i didnt have the special touch

im sorry i that i got so mad
im sorry things got that bad

im sorry for saying sorry all the time
and im sorry that you just won't leave my mind...
but most of all im just sorry that no matter where you looked, happiness you could not find.
I'm not perfect

[07 Aug 2007|08:45pm]

i'm sorry  that it meant something to me 
i'm sorry that i like you.
i'm sorry that it's all a big mistake.
I'm not perfect

i just am [30 Jan 2006|04:36pm]

[ mood | numb ]

im sorry i like girls and guys
im sorry im different
im sorry u grill me everyday
im sorry that luis turned down beth
im sorry she has to get so hurt
im sorry that i cant kiss away her tears cuz im taken
im sorry things got so complicated
im sorry i have to many problems
im sorry i scare you
im sorry i was ur accedent
im sorry i get really hyper
im sorry i didnt hop in the car with those guys this weekend, maby it would be over now
im sorry its who i am
im sorry that this world is so screwed up.
im sorry
i just am.

1 realize| I'm not perfect

[17 Dec 2005|11:52am]

im sorry he told u i kissed him, but i didnt.
im sorry u broke up with me, but im glade u took me back
im sorry u felt like crap over his words
im sorry i didnt know what was going on
im sorry i had to see ur pain
im sorry i was so mad at u
im sorry
I'm not perfect

[13 Dec 2005|06:03pm]

dammit. im sorry, u dont like me!
im so sorry that u think im a wuss friggen emo kid. im not.
im sorry but yes i know there are people worse off than me.
im sorry, wtf u say i shouldnt be saying that and then u go off and say it to,ur a hypocrite.
im sorry, but fuck off.
im sorry u ever said anything.
im sorry ur so dumb
I'm not perfect

my tears are not enough. . . [13 Dec 2005|03:51pm]

[ mood | ditzy ]

im sorry that u dont say hi
im sorry but i wont be borde cuz u dont feel like gracing me with ur prescence
im sorry but i went with him
im sorry i embarrased u
im sorry ur friends thought i was cheating
im sorry but i waz dizzy
im sorry u acted like nothing waz wrong

I'm not perfect

Dont Speak, Everytime u Open ur Mouth a Little Part of me Dies [08 Dec 2005|04:04pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

im sorry im not perfect
even though i try to be
im sorry i want u
and u dont want me
im sorry all this happened
but arent my tears enough?
im sorry u dont dont know all the things i did for u
im sorry that ur worth it
and im sorry that i tryed
but especially im sorry for all those times u lied

(wow that kinda rhymed alittle)

I'm not perfect

dont make me bleed anymore. . . [08 Dec 2005|03:59pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

im sorry i do it
im sorry ur mad
im sorry the color, just makes me glad
im sorry it hurts
im sorry i cannot stop
im sorry, but ive tryed
im sorry they make me cry
im sorry for the rumers
and im sorry for the pain
im sorry that everything i do
is all in vein
im sorry its me
but im not deppressed
im sorry for all this shyt that i regret.

I'm not perfect

just, stop the pain, as only, u can [07 Dec 2005|05:25pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

im sorry u dont want to us to be us anymore
im sorry u chose her over me
im sorry for everytime u flirted in front of me with her and i acted as though it never happened
im sorry i came to u twice
im sorry for spilling my life to u
im sorry for all the times u said i love u
im sorry u said i deserved better,
♥ then handed my heart back in pieces
im sorry i wanna dial ur number
im sorry that the pain is escaping my eyes nonstop
im sorry i ever bothered
im sorry it just couldnt be
im sorry U dont want ME
im, just sorry, ok?
no nevermind.

I'm not perfect

[05 Dec 2005|05:58pm]

im so sorry for everything! :(
I'm not perfect

*new here* [04 Dec 2005|10:29am]

[ mood | depressed ]

im sorry for taking those pills
im sorry for making them laugh
im sorry for passing out
im sorry for being called to the counslers
im sorry it went that way
im sorry for what happened
im sorry for them connecting the dots
im sorry i cried
im sorry they checked my pulse
im sorry that they discovered u to
im sorry she cant talk to us anymore
♥ im sorry di is leaving
im sorry i caused this pain
im sorry they told on me
im sorry he saw my scars
im sorry life is this way
im sorry they saw my scars
im sorry they called u in
im sorry im sorry our secret is out
im sorry im sorry we can no longer escape
im sorry im sorry we have to go back
im sorry that its gonna suck
im sorry were losing our friends one by one
im sorry it ever happened

3 realize| I'm not perfect

i just lost you [06 Nov 2005|03:55pm]

[ mood | sad ]

I'm sorry i just lost you.
I'm sorry i was too much to handle.
I'm sorry nothing i ever did meant jack shit to you.
I'm sorry i thought i was more to you than i really am.
I'm sorry i'm just a waste of space.
I'm sorry they're more important to you than me.
I'm sorry i didn't do the right thing when i had the chance.
I'm sorry that i have to go through this alone now.
i'm sorry that she probably won't ever trust me the same way again...
I'm sorry that i probably won't ever be able to  make it up to you.
iIm sorry i made you up....and gave you a costume you never *Ever* wanted to wear...

i don't want to learn this lesson.
I'll miss you...a lot...one more fuckin' friendship...gone

I'm not perfect

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